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Julia Jeffress Sadler

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The Reason The World Is Watching "13 Reasons Why"

This blog was published by The Christian Post, Hello Christian, and The Southern TEXAN 

The Reason the World is Watching “Thirteen Reasons Why”

The New York Times best selling book turned Netflix series “Thirteen Reasons Why” has turned into an overnight national phenomenon. Why is this series catching the attention of parents, teachers, teenagers, and pretty much everyone? While the series has many critics, this series has one main attraction. “Thirteen Reasons Why” is the most accurate show on television. As a licensed professional counselor and professional youth speaker who presents suicide prevention programs in public and private schools, I can tell you that, unfortunately, this show depicts the struggles many of our teenagers are facing. I knew immediately when I heard about “Thirteen Reasons Why” that I would inevitably write about this show, since I speak passionately about teen suicide to our young people. I went into the show ready to be a critic. I was ready to bash it for romanticizing suicide and for depicting dark images and ideas. However, I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming accuracy of this show. Because if 1 in 6 women are sexually abused and 5,000 teenagers in the United States attempt suicide daily, then there are a lot of Hannah Bakers out there. So, while there are many reasons not to watch the show, I want to focus on the number one issue depicted in “Thirteen Reasons Why.” Surprisingly, the number one issue is not suicide. The number one harmful issue is having a victim mentality.

Victim mentality is different from being a victim. Without a doubt, people are victims of assault, abuse, and many different horrible acts for which they are in no way responsible. Victim mentality does not necessarily have anything to do with being the object of a crime. Victim mentality is letting other people rule your life or, in Hannah Baker’s case, letting other people ruin your life. While this idea can sound harsh, it is the reason Hannah Baker’s character and millions of other people take their own lives. I remember counseling a suicidal 20-year-old girl who was a complete puzzle to me. I could not figure out why this beautiful and talented young woman with her whole life ahead of her was suicidal. Finally, she said to me, “I want to commit suicide because I want my dad to know how badly he hurt me when he sexually abused me.” That is the suicidal delusion that many teenagers and adults believe--that because of what has happened in their life, their life is over.

Many suffering people believe they are the only ones. They are the only ones being bullied. They are the only ones being sexually abused. They are the only ones without friends. And when people believe they are alone, they feel hopeless. But, luckily, our lives are never hopeless, never beyond repair, and never beyond redemption because God is big enough to use the worst parts of our lives for His ultimate plan. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph had the ultimate chance to confront his brothers who sold him into slavery and left him for dead, and his response was not to leave cassette tapes for all his brothers to listen to so they could be punished. Instead, Joseph told his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive.”

In considering your view of “Thirteen Reasons Why,” please remember that there is a reason it is a hit show. Countless numbers of people are tempted to commit suicide every minute. We must stop letting other people ruin and even take our lives. We must open our eyes to the nationwide epidemic and reality of suicide.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

tags: suicide prevention, 13 Reasons Why, teens, depression, bullying, hope, truth, Jesus, Student ministry, young adult
Thursday 04.27.17
Posted by Julia Jeffress Sadler
 

Why It's OK, Not to be OK ! (Podcast)

This month I had the incredible opportunity to be interviewed by Advance Now Media on "Why It's OK, Not to be OK": Hope & Help for Depression, Anxiety, & Suicide. Advance Now media is a podcast by the Southern Baptist of Texas Convention.

My heart and soul is to help everyone and anyone who is struggling with depression, anxiety, & suicidal thoughts by offering them hope and help! Hope you enjoy! 

 "Why It's OK, To Not Be OK -Hope & Help for Depression, Anxiety, & Suicide". Click the link to listen: http://bit.ly/Its_OK

tags: depression, suicide, suicide prevention, anxiety, hope, help, psychology, spirituality, teens, Christianity, student ministry, motivation, inspire, counseling, life, christianity, girls ministry, God, Jesus, women, millenials, women ministry, students
Monday 12.05.16
Posted by Julia Jeffress Sadler
 

What Everyone Needs to Know About Suicide

First of all, I realize this is not the most positive post to launch my new blog. However, God keeps reminding me how important the topic of suicide is to Him. The topic of suicide is important to God because it deals with life and death in this life and in eternity. If a topic is important to God then it needs to be important to us. Recently I've been asking God to help me "hate what He hates and love what He loves." I am convinced that God hates suicide and loves people.

Just in the past 2 days I have counseled with three teenagers contemplating suicide. Those students were not atheists. Those students did not wear all black and only listen to heavy metal. Those students were all devout Christians who are struggling with depression and feel trapped by their circumstances.

September is designated as suicide awareness month. Suicide is a tragedy that affects millions of people’s lives either directly or indirectly. You will be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t dealt with suicide in some capacity. With this heartbreaking reality in our culture, it is imperative that teenagers, parents, school teachers, clergy, & basically everyone knows warning signs of suicide, causes of suicide, & how to find help for people struggling with suicide and depression. 

Here are some quick facts about suicide complimentary of dosomething.org and health.com

Suicide Facts:  

  • Suicide is a tragedy that affects over 5,000 teenagers in the US a year.
  • Nearly 30,000 Americans commit suicide yearly. 
  • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15-24 year olds.
  • Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for 24-35 year olds. 
  • Each suicide intimately affects at least 6 people. 
  • Depression that is untreated, undiagnosed, or ineffectively treated is the number 1 cause of suicide. 
  • Strong social support is known to lower suicide risk
  • Suicide can trigger copy-cat attempts

It is my belief that suicide is 100% preventable if you know what to look for in others and how to get help if you ever get to the point of contemplating suicide. One study reported that 1 in 5 high schoolers have contemplated suicide in the past year. This is an important study because it shows how common suicidal thoughts are BUT also that it's possible to not follow your thoughts to the point of action. I could write about this topic all day but for now here are some important things to know...

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide:

1. Tell someone! 

Let me be quick to say, don't just tell anyone. You need to tell a parent, teacher, professional, counselor, call 911, or call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255. This is too serious to keep to yourself. You are not going to be in trouble. There is no shame in getting help. Just like bodies can get sick, so can your mind. You may save your life. 

2. Understand while you pain is real, it's also temporary! 

You are not always going to feel this way, have this situation, difficult person, or feelings of sadness, etc. People who survived suicide attempts have reported experiencing the impulse to go away after 2 hours. That means 2 hours later people were very thankful their suicide attempt did NOT work and they were able to live! Your situation will get better. You will not always feel this way. 

3.  Realize suicide doesn't fix anything, it only prevents your situation from ever getting better! 

Satan specializes in near-sightedness. He loves when we can only see our present situation and become distressed to the point of becoming suicidal. John 10:10 says, "The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill, and destroy but I (Jesus) have come that you may have life and have it to the fullest." Don't let Satan or anyone else convince you your situation is hopeless! The God of all the universe says that is not true about you or your situation! 

If you are concerned about someone who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts:

1. Recognize the Signs! From webmd.com

  • Always talking or thinking about death
  • Clinical depression -- deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating -- that gets worse
  • Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving fast or running red lights
  • Losing interest in things one used to care about
  • Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
  • Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
  • Saying things like "it would be better if I wasn't here" or "I want out"
  • Sudden, unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
  • Talking about suicide or killing one's self
  • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye

2. Ask the Question!

If you suspect someone is depressed or suicidal, ask them! You are not giving them a new idea. You are offering hope and support. This helps them to tell on themselves. 

3. Get them help!

It's so important to be supportive of depressed and suicidal friends, family, children, students, etc. but realize you're not a professional ( unless you actually are). Make sure that person gets the professional help they need. It is not your job to decide if someone is serious or not. It's your job to make sure they are safe. 

4. Don't mitigate someone's suffering!

This is especially important for parents! What's not a big deal to you, could be the end of the world to your child. Calling a child dramatic or dismissing their feelings only perpetuates their hopelessness. Take your child at their word. If they are saying they're suicidal or depressed, do not reprimand them or convince them otherwise. Thank God that they told you and get them the help they need!

Jesus tells us in John 16:33, "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble; but take heart; I have overcome the world." Pain is a part of the human condition. Pain is real. Pain is also temporary. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts please tell someone! 

Never, Never, Never Give up!

Julia J. Sadler

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tags: suicide, depression, mental illness, psychology, students, suicide awareness month, teenagers, student ministry, suicide prevention
Thursday 09.22.16
Posted by Julia Jeffress Sadler
 

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